The Philosophy of Choosing

As parents, they say to children "make good choices!"; as teachers, we say to students "what are your choices?"; as bosses, they say to staff "you leave me no choice...".

Everything in life is a choice. While some are not made by you, they are made to you, for you, and because of you; those are not so different from the ones you do need to make. Today, let's look at choices.

Those done unto you

The reasons for people to choose for others vary but no matter what they say, it is always about themselves.

"Study hard so you can get a good job" --> (so I don't need to take care of you)

"Have children when you're still young" --> (so I can see grandchildren before death)

"Quit smoking because you'll get cancer" --> (so I don't get cancer)

Whether these are the real intentions or not is arguable but there's always one. You may be thinking, what if the speaker really means well? Regarding that notion, we're here to say that a genuine concern for others is always among the reasons but very rarely is the only reason people do so.

It's not impossible to change people's choices about us but too complicated to go into. If your thoughts are around the things you have to do to make people think in certain ways, you're going to have an unhealthy mindset and though having a few successes at the beginning, you will eventually be consumed by those corrupted ideas. The best way to choose is when you choose on your behalf without tiptoeing.

Those done by you

The much more important issue regarding this topic is how you choose. Universities, majors, jobs, partners, where to live...etc. these are very simple but difficult choices to make. Why is it so? The way you look at life itself will make all the differences and in life, there is only that you live based on love or fear.

"I have to move to the city so I could get a job, buy a house, start a family, or I can't ___ "

"I have to stick to this company for ___ years because I have to get the job after this"

"I have to ..."

When you're obligated to do something, you're not doing this for yourself but because you fear the consequences that come after not doing it.

As technology and humanity become more advanced and sophisticated than ever, we live in a time when machines help us live our lives and a majority of us don't live to survive. We went from making sure to have the next meal to making sure we like the next meal. That being said, more unhappy people are "discovered" every day. This is a direct result of how you choose to look at life. Again, love or fear.

Those done to matter

Why do we need a break from work, from a relationship, or from anything that happens? Is it not because we didn't have a complete passion for it in the first place? We live in the best time in human history but also in the most stressful one. Everything is magnified. People don't just want what they what; they want what others have. To compensate for this greed, many of us are willing to suppress our true feelings and "suffer now, enjoy later" or "chase the rainbow".

The simplest thing to do is to go back to where it all begins. What do you want? What do you NOT want? What is something you can't live without? Try to think about these questions, not from the eyes of others or social norms.

-I want to help others because it makes me feel good.

-I can help others by teaching them English and I'm good at it.

-I will live my life helping others by doing something I'm good at.

Simple, isn't it?

The hardest thing to fight against is our greed and the power of fear.

"Don't you want to have a nicer ___?"

Most of us failed right here with this question. We understand that people always want better and more improved things, and we're not here to say that it's bad to feel this way. As it is okay to fear but it must not come before love. You certainly can want a better ___ even though you already have a ___ but you must love your life and the things you do first. Otherwise, you're just adding more wrappers to the same candy bar; you have to fulfill your potential, FIRST!

Difficult, is it?

Choosing love doesn't guarantee having no hardship but when it comes, you can prevail.

With love, we can live with the cracks in life.

#selfreflect