Body Shaming by Ngan

Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight “in days,” appear slimmer “instantly,” and hide our “imperfections”… without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance. This is one example of body-shaming, and it is everywhere.

Body-shaming (criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of physical appearance) can lead to judgment and criticism. Messages from the media and each other often imply that we should want to change, that we should care about looking slimmer, smaller, and tanner. And if we don’t, we worry that we are at risk of being the target of someone else’s body-shaming comments.

Body-shaming manifests in many ways:

1) Criticizing your appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e.: “I’m so ugly compared to her.” “Look at how ugly my face is.”)

2) Criticizing someone's appearance in front of them, (i.e.: “With those thighs, you’re never going to find a boyfriend.”)

3) Criticizing someone's appearance without their knowledge. (i.e.: “Did you see what she’s wearing today? Not favorable.” “At least you don’t look like her!”).

No matter how this manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame. It perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features.

This leads to the question: if it has such harsh outcomes, why is body-shaming so common? Why, when we are upset, annoyed, or intimidated by someone, do we default to criticizing their appearance? “Whatever, she’s ugly,” can be a go-to defense in these situations. In some ways, it feels easier to shoot for something that will hurt, like targeting physical appearance, rather than expressing what is really going on emotionally.

Saying, “I’m really hurt by how my friend treated me,” or “I’m terrified of losing this friendship” opens us up and makes us more vulnerable, and therefore feels easier to bury underneath the body-shaming comments that rush to mind.

Sadly, body shaming occurs among both men and women of all different shapes and body sizes. It has included both criticisms of being “too fat”, or “too skinny”, often picking on flaws that completely irrelevant. Many TV shows and movies have fallen into this pattern, where the “fat” character is often the subject of criticism and comic relief. With the trending behaviors of celebrity fat shaming on social media, it is important to understand the potential consequences that may arise.

As a 19-year-old girl, I have already been through some acts of people shaming my body image. I have always been so skinny and that makes me diffident with my body. Whenever I go out, I often hear people saying: “Why are you so skinny? It’s not pretty to be that thin.” Or “Having that skinny body is ugly”. These people were body-shaming me but the problem is that they do not know about that. Words come out of people’s mouths easily without having thought after saying. After being body shamed, I could move on and continue with my life ignoring all those words. But because of this, some people have suffered a lot and the worst ended up committing suicide. People do not acknowledge what they say can affect a person’s life, and indirectly hurt other people. Everyone should know and take responsibility for what they do and say, because it may affect others too. As we all know, words can be an indirect knife that kills us.

Body-shaming does not and will never lead to good results. To give an example, a 22-year-old aspiring fashion designer committed suicide by hanging herself in her house and a final note that she left behind seemed to indicate that the probable reason why she took the extreme step was that she was a victim of body shaming. Not only her, but many people also have at least thought of suicide at least one time in their lives because of this issue. Not just by direct words, some "heroes" under the computer screens are also the cause of this. Platforms such as Twitter and Instagram shared billions of photographs every year reflecting a society that appeared “increasingly consumerist, increasingly celebrity-orientated, and increasingly focused on external appearances".

Today, individuals are more accepting of being different from others however with the pressure from social media, young individuals are more prone to want to look a certain way. Negative comments and provoking images can drive young girls to engage in unhealthy behaviors to change their body type to conform to the norms of society. This may lead to self-injury or cutting, binging, and purging behaviors, or even full-fledged eating disorders. Individuals with a history of trauma, depression, self-harm, low self-esteem, or borderline personality disorder are more likely to be affected by body shaming and potentially develop an eating disorder or engage in self-harm behavior.

Like with any other forms of bullying, body shaming will always be present unless you stick up for yourself positively and healthily. It is important to practice self-love and try not to let negative comments bother you. Furthermore, if you witness body shaming on social media, you can report it and flag it for inappropriate content. It is also important to share the stories with your parents or friends that you are close to. Find someone to talk to so that you do not get frustrated by all of the bad things in your mind and struggle with getting them out. It may be stuck there forever and for a long time that you can not escape. But most importantly, be nice to yourself. Don’t force yourself too much to match others’ requirements, no one is perfect and so they are.

“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.”

#Ngan